The Balancing Act

It's been a little quiet around here recently. On the blog that is.

Life seems to be ever busier and busier. And as much as I hope God blesses us with more children eventually, there are days... Oh, there are days....

On the bright side, things seem to be doing a little better around here. It's almost as if Survival Mode has moved to Survival Mode Plus. It's where you're still hanging on for dear life, but the house gets cleaned every so often.

However, it does seem the blog has been put on the back burner some. I've taken on a few other writing projects, I'm trying semi-successfully to train for the marathon in December, and now that Clare is walking there's just constant something going on around my feet at all times. I'll be the first to admit that I do kinda love the chaos. But it's not super conducive to lengthy novels about the minutia of our lives.

Over the past few months, I've seen quite a few mamas refer to this book. I read it back while in the early stages of pregnancy with Clare, and it didn't sit with me quite like I had hoped. Maybe it was first trimester-ness or perhaps the fact the I'm at a different stage of motherhood than the author. For the most part, the book overwhelmed even the most Type A part of me. I will say though, that if nothing else, the book did make me think and it has stuck with me. In brief, the premise is that structuring your life on a schedule, such as monastics do, allows your life to become more orderly and in turn more prayerful. Now who doesn't want a big heap of that?!

Sign. Me. Up.

Sadly, I've not been able to implement her plan for orderly perfection in my home. In fact, that last statement is an understatement to how this house runs. If the floors are clean, it's because the kids aren't. If I'm writing here, I'm not working on other projects. If I've actually run... well that never happens so I'll just stop there. But you get the point... If I'm doing something, it's because I'm obviously not doing something else. Yet when everything looks or feels to be of equal importance, how do you schedule time/stay motivated/ sleep, etcetcetc? I've not got the answer to that, and for the most part, my life rarely feels in balance.

Recently, I've been so proud of the fact that I've been keeping my house decently clean. I'm not talking about zero clutter, I just mean there is at least the appearance that I care about what's going on around here. I've found that I just have to do it despite my biggest desire to sit at the end of the day and veg or blog. But see... sometimes I need to veg, or blog, or read your blog and comment. I miss those things. I miss you. However, it seems I can't have my cake and eat it too.

There are the moms who do it all I suppose, but it seems they are a rare breed. We all have our moments where we have to slack on something to excel in another area. Or even just exist in another area. I hope there's a day when I can slow down some and make my life a habit of order and prayer. But right now, that seems like only an ideal worth striving towards that will never fully be realized. And I'm ok with that.

Damian-isms vol. 3

Oh Damian Damian Damian... From the mouths of babes or so they say.

Scene: Dinner table
Damian: Mommy, you're a dog. Clare, a cat. Damian, a dragon. Daddy. YOU'RE A DRAGONFLY!!
Me: *Deaddddd*
Daddy: *offended*

I have about 8945973498276 of these selfies on my phone

Scene: Me attempting to clean up because sometimes I like to pretend we don't live in a war zone and Damian trying to undo my attempts
Me: Damian, could you stop. I'm trying to clean up the house.
Damian: Who's coming over?!
Me: ..... no.one. ..... Thanks kid...... You know, sometimes we clean even when we don't have company coming over........ 

Making me proud by finding the Dr Who section of B&N

Scene: Damian having one of those *rare* moments of badness 

Me: YELL YELL YELL FUSS FUSS FUSS
Damian: Mommy, you are too loud. We don't yell inside, only outside.

Me:

Damian's offering to the Holy Family--a used lollipop and a washed out photo filter

Scene: In the lab about to give blood.

Lab tech: So I guess he ate today?
Me: Yea he did. They didn't need him to fast.
Damian (slightly enraged): I'M NOT EIGHT! I'm three!!
Everyone: *dead*

No really, why?

Scene: Dinner time when he was supposed to be in his seat but instead was over by me
Me: Ok bud, you really need to go sit back down.
Damian (in the sweetest voice ever): Mommy. You are the sweetest mommy ever!
Me: ok you can do whatever you want for the rest of your life... 

10 months...

Dear Clare,

Oh my girl. You really are such a fun little girl. Always happy and smiley. I love it! This month has been one of watching you go from a "passive" family member to a much more active participant. It's very clear you understand what's going on and what we're talking about. You love interacting with us and carrying on your own little conversations. It's been a great month...

As far as talking goes, you've started shaking your head no while saying "uh-uh." You usually do this when I ask "Are you ready for a nap?" or when you are about to do something you shouldn't... Like climb on the fireplace. You've also started meow-ing and woof-ing. And you love to say BOO to Damian during peek-a-boo. 

You've started taking more steps and can now stand yourself up without pulling up. We all know it's just a matter of time before you're running. 

We all got horribly sick this month. For almost a week, it sounded like you had been smoking a pack a day for the last 20 years. Thankfully we seem to all finally be better now. You got to come back in the bed with us while you were sick which kinda caused a regression on all the progress we had made on sleep. However...

Before that, we had kicked you out of the bed and were working on convincing you that you could sleep in a crib without nursing. I had changed up our bedtime routine so that nursing was not the last thing we did and instead would walk with you until you were asleep. And then one night you asked (pointed) to get in your crib. I thought I was going mad, but sure enough you happily played with your doll and animals. I sat on the floor for almost an hour but you finally just fell asleep. I thought it was a fluke but you kept doing it every night until you got sick...

You love to eat and so far like everything I've offered you other than eggs and blueberries. We still nurse about 5 times during the day, but you also love drinking from a straw. Especially if that straw is attached to Damian's cup...

Speaking of you and Damian, it's a constant game of "monkey see, monkey do" around here. Even when y'all are being bad, it's still kind of cute....

You love your daddy! Often you'll leap out of my arms for him and will give him a ton of kisses. You are very, very generous with the kisses. Unfortunately your favorite game is to smack us in the face and then when we tell you No to give us a big kiss as if to say "sorry." Over and over and over again.

You've graduated to the big kid tub with Damian. It was a little crazy at first, but now you both know the drill and no one is crying (usually) during bathtime anymore!

In typical girl fashion, you love having me do your hair. I hope this continues... But if you find a bow or hair tie on the floor, you will bring it to me and then point to your head. I'm always amazed by all the little connections you make. 

Alright my big girl, I love you and I'm looking forward to another month of adventures with you! 

Love,

Mama

Damian's Scope

Just a quick hello to let you know Damian is currently having his scope done to find the source of bleeding. Say a prayer for him that there are no "surprises" and anything they find is a quick fix! Thanks friends.

ps: I asked him to change into "something nice" for some pictures recently, and he refused saying his coordinated PJs were nice!! lol

Heartbroken

The blog community is a crazy thing. Back in the day (2 blogs ago and before I had even had Damian) I signed up for a Blogger Christmas Gift Swap. The idea was to help network and meet new people. I was paired with Julia Haney. She lived across the country from me in LA, and I'm not sure what she thought about being paired with a southern girl like me. But before we knew it, we had exchanged numbers and were texting almost daily.

Fast forward 3+ years and now we both have two kids. While we don't talk as much as we used to thanks to the craziness of our lives, she is still a dear friend to me and one I'm so thankful to have met. She's always been there when I needed her and encouraged me beyond no end when I've been worried about Damian.

So now it's time for me to return the favor. I'm sure you've seen me post about her on Facebook and on Instagram, but I need you guys. I need you to pray and pray and pray for her sweet little girl, Bailey.

Bailey is the cutest little 17 month old you could ever find. She's got the sweetest cheeks and the most beautiful blue eyes. However, this precious girl was just diagnosed with High Risk Stage 4 Neuroblastoma Cancer. I know a little bit about worrying for your child's life, seeing them in pain and hooked up to machines, and wanting so desperately to wake up from this nightmare you've suddenly found yourself in. It's a hard thing they're up against. She is blessed to have such a strong and loving family, but she still needs our prayers and a miracle.

So if you could tonight, say a little prayer for Bailey and her family. Pray for healing, positive responses to the chemo and other medicines, and for the skill of the doctors and nurses. If you're interested, you can follow along with her battle on her Facebook page. And if you can, you can also donate at their GoFundMe page.

Thank you friends! I know it will mean the world to her!

First Day of School

Today was Damian's first day of Pre-School!
We went to an open house yesterday so he could meet his teacher and plenty of my old teachers as he's attending my old Catholic elementary school. It's crazy to think I have a child old enough to be there. I guess time flies and all that jazz.

Anyway, let's get to some token "First Day of School Pictures."

So Excited!!

His beloved monster bookbag with even more beloved matching water bottle.

Mama hen with her confused chicks.

No really guys... What are y'all doing?

Happy First Day of School to everyone else starting the school year today! 

Why Am I Doing This?

...or  "A Post About Running"

If you are a stranger to these parts (first off, welcome.welcome.) let me start by saying, sleep is not happening in this house. If Clare is having a miracle stretch of sleep for longer than 2 hours, then Damian is waking up. If Damian is sleeping like the good boy he used to be, then Clare is all like HELLNO will I sleep.

It's a mess. I suggest you buy stock in Starbucks.

What does this have to do about running??

Well I may have signed up for my 4th marathon. In December. (That's in 4 months for those of you not counting down to Christmas. What? Only me?)

If you've ever been active before, and by active I mean "Do you chew your food??" you know how important sleep is.

Part of me is very excited to tackle the marathon yet again. Every time I've run a marathon, I've been injured or sick. I would love to get out there healthy and well-trained and see what I can do.

However, part of me is very worry this won't happen because I haven't been running as much as I would like and that's mostly because I can't seem to find the time or energy. I'm hoping as it gets cooler I will be able to take the kids with me more (never thought I'd say that.) Now that's I've actually signed up though I'm feeling more motivated. Sooo shall we say the runner in me is back?? Let's hope! (Otherwise it's going to be a long 26.2 miles...)

If anyone else is interested... You should sign up for the Kiawah marathon and come run with me! There's also a half marathon too.