10 months...

Dear Clare,

Oh my girl. You really are such a fun little girl. Always happy and smiley. I love it! This month has been one of watching you go from a "passive" family member to a much more active participant. It's very clear you understand what's going on and what we're talking about. You love interacting with us and carrying on your own little conversations. It's been a great month...

As far as talking goes, you've started shaking your head no while saying "uh-uh." You usually do this when I ask "Are you ready for a nap?" or when you are about to do something you shouldn't... Like climb on the fireplace. You've also started meow-ing and woof-ing. And you love to say BOO to Damian during peek-a-boo. 

You've started taking more steps and can now stand yourself up without pulling up. We all know it's just a matter of time before you're running. 

We all got horribly sick this month. For almost a week, it sounded like you had been smoking a pack a day for the last 20 years. Thankfully we seem to all finally be better now. You got to come back in the bed with us while you were sick which kinda caused a regression on all the progress we had made on sleep. However...

Before that, we had kicked you out of the bed and were working on convincing you that you could sleep in a crib without nursing. I had changed up our bedtime routine so that nursing was not the last thing we did and instead would walk with you until you were asleep. And then one night you asked (pointed) to get in your crib. I thought I was going mad, but sure enough you happily played with your doll and animals. I sat on the floor for almost an hour but you finally just fell asleep. I thought it was a fluke but you kept doing it every night until you got sick...

You love to eat and so far like everything I've offered you other than eggs and blueberries. We still nurse about 5 times during the day, but you also love drinking from a straw. Especially if that straw is attached to Damian's cup...

Speaking of you and Damian, it's a constant game of "monkey see, monkey do" around here. Even when y'all are being bad, it's still kind of cute....

You love your daddy! Often you'll leap out of my arms for him and will give him a ton of kisses. You are very, very generous with the kisses. Unfortunately your favorite game is to smack us in the face and then when we tell you No to give us a big kiss as if to say "sorry." Over and over and over again.

You've graduated to the big kid tub with Damian. It was a little crazy at first, but now you both know the drill and no one is crying (usually) during bathtime anymore!

In typical girl fashion, you love having me do your hair. I hope this continues... But if you find a bow or hair tie on the floor, you will bring it to me and then point to your head. I'm always amazed by all the little connections you make. 

Alright my big girl, I love you and I'm looking forward to another month of adventures with you! 

Love,

Mama

9 months...

Dear Clare,

I don't know how much longer I'm going to be able to do these letters if you continue to crawl straight at me every time I go to take your picture. I have 100 pictures of your forehead and only about 2 that were sort of acceptable representations of you. You are a mess, and that is why we love you so much! All this to say--your personality is really starting to come out! I know in a few short months you'll be officially a toddler, and as sad as I am to see my baby growing up, I'm so excited to get to hear you talk and watch you do new things. Every day is an adventure. You're always on the move, into everything, and keeping us very, very, very busy. However, you are still so sweet and love to cuddle. I'm not sure which of the three of us you have more wrapped around your little finger. 

This month...

You've discovered your ability to climb stairs and you LOVE them! I cannot carry you up the stairs without you trying to jump ship and crawl up them yourself. You will also walk up them if we hold your hands. I respect your attempt, but it's hilarious seeing your little legs climb stairs. 

Speaking of climbing, I think we have our "climber." You will climb anything and everything you can. And even if it's still too tall for you, you will at least give it a shot. I bought bumper pad things for the fireplace, and your favorite activity is to peal them off and then climb up and thrown them down. Clearly they don't work very well. Time to invest in so many more gates.

You say MaMa now!!!!! Music to my ears. You also say Day-Day for Damian too, which is also pretty cute. Most mornings I will get you up from your nap, ask if you want to go downstairs to see Damian, and you happily cheer Day-Day the whole walk down the stairs. 

The two of you have really started having fun together. Damian loves to fuss at you when you're "being bad," and you love to destroy anything he's working on. Neither of you understand sharing, and Damian hoards all the toys you want. BUT when none of that is going on, you two seem to really love each other. I will occasionally catch Damian giving you kisses and you will attempt to hug Damian despite his new hatred of "kid hugs."

You still love giving kisses and hugs. When Daddy comes home, you hop in his arms and give him lots and lots of love. 

Your hair is still the topic du jour. It's crazy, in the best way possible. It's also really long and getting pretty curly. But unless I put it up, it just goes in any and every direction. You're a baby, so it's precious. When you're older, I will buy you hair products.

We had started solids awhile back, but you're really getting into trying new foods. I usually give you a little bit of what we are having each night unless it's spicy. However, your favorites are carrots and corn. You've started saying the Ka sound for corn and typically bounce excitedly until I give you some. And you've been known to get carrots out of the fridge if I leave it open too long. Also, this probably goes without saying, but Cheerios are our new treat for Mass, going out to eat, keeping you awake in the car so you don't nap, etc etc. And along the lines of eating, I guess you are going to be a baby who never took a bottle because it seems we've jumped straight over that and on to straw sippy cups. Oh well...

You still nurse a few times during the day and a few times at night. Night time sleep still stinks, but you've started giving me two solid naps during the day and that's lovely. 

I'm not convinced it wasn't a fluke since it's only happened once, but you took your first step. We have yet to be able to get you to replicate it. You will stand without holding on to anything for as long as you don't need to go anywhere. The second you realize you need something you sit down and crawl. Hopefully since you seem to have good balance now and can walk holding just one of our hands, you will be toddling around here soon. 

Well that is all for now sweet girl. I love you so very much!

Mama

A Letter to My Daughter

Dearest Daughter,

This letter is for when you are older, but I don't want it to come too late so I'm writing it to you now. 

I want you to know a few thing about your mom. 

When we heard "It's a girl!" I could barely contain my excitement. I'd finally get to do all those girly things like bows and ruffles and dolls. Your grandmother is my best friend and I had always hoped that one day I would have a daughter to share that relationship with as well. And as we continued to prepare for your arrival, my excitement still grew but I began to realize more and more what having a daughter, especially in these times, would mean. You see, the world is a tricky place. As a woman, you are lucky to live in a time where you can do and be whatever you want. A mother, a doctor, a teacher, a politician? Go for it! I hope you find your passion early and give it your best shot. However, there's a darker side of this world in which we live. One where sin prevails and a woman is objectified and misused with little thought to her as a whole person. Just walk down any magazine aisle and read the headlines. It's all about how you look, how sexy you are, what you can offer to your man. And while I may tell you your worth is so much more than that, I know the world loudly shouts something else. 

And then Sweet One, I had you and watched you start to grow. You are absolutely beautiful to me. No really, you are stunning. And the more I thought about how the world might make you feel otherwise, the more angry I became. Not at the world, love, but at myself. For women are the ones that have allowed this to happen. We were the ones that bought that lie. We're the ones that kill ourselves trying to look a certain way, complain about our worst features, and dream about what it must be like to be just one size smaller or one inch taller or just a little bit curvier. 

So I began to think about how maybe I could save you from all the pain so many women go through. I could keep you in a bubble, never exposing you to the world, but there's so much good out there I want you to see too. Maybe I could try my hardest to protect you from bad influences and just never let you out of my sight. But then how would you learn to be independent or grow from mistakes? I don't want to save you from every fall or broken heart. It was then I had the scary realization, that all parents do at some point, that I can't control your life forever and at some point I will have to let you go. All I can do is give you the tools to survive. 

But I don't want you to merely survive, I want you to thrive. There must be a better way for a woman to live than constantly obsessing about how she looks. But isn't that what we women do?  Why is that? Where do we learn that from? It must be from other women. When I came to that conclusion, I decided that I would try with all my might to teach you something different. I can't control the world, but I can control me. Maybe, just maybe, my influence would be enough to give you the strength to not buy into the image obsessed culture in which we live.

My words will never be louder than the culture's, but I hope my actions are. So I want you to know...

When you see me running and working out, it's not so I can fit into size 0 jeans or have a bikini body. It's because I love fresh air, the feel of working for something hard, and I want to be good to this body God has given me. I do it so I will be around for your children, and God-willing, your children's children. 

When you see me eating a salad or choosing a healthy food option, don't think it's because I'm deathly afraid of cellulite or gaining a few pounds. Know it's because eating the natural things of this earth remind me of how blessed we are to be able to have good food that nourishes our bodies.

When I put on make up, please don't ever think I don't like the way I look without it. Just as I like nice clothing that flatters my body, I enjoy having fun with make up. But if I ever thought it made you think you needed it to be pretty, I would throw it all away in a heartbeat and never wear it again.

And when you hear me talk about myself, I hope you never hear me complain about the way I look. How could I not like so many of my features that I see look so beautiful on you?

I hope you learn to value looking beautiful rather than "looking hot." I want you to enjoy good chocolate and a fine wine while knowing moderation and temperance. I want you to know the virtues because you were raised surrounded by them. I want you to know you are loved. I want you to know who you are and what you stand for and to never waiver in either of those. I hope that if I can teach you only one thing about being a woman, it's to see yourself as God sees you and to be grateful for this body of yours. 

I love you my beautiful girl,

Mom

7 months...

Dear Clare,

7 months... Per the norm, this past month was a lot of fun! You've done so many new things, and I'm starting to worry my days with a "baby" are number as you race full steam ahead to toddlerhood. I blame Damian (as we usually do when you start to cry) because you are sooo intent on keeping up with him. I understand, he is a lot of fun. But darling, I don't know that your mama is ready for it all. Let's just go ahead and recap this month shall we. This month...

You started crawling! Woot woot! You are on the move and go go go go. After the second day of you crawling around, Damian finally noticed (typical male) and asked "Mama, what is Clare doing?" I said "She's crawling!" to which he responded "No, she's too little to crawl." My thoughts exactly.....

And now that you are crawling, you are pulling up on anything and everything you can get to. It's caused a lot of falls and boo-boos for you. You've probably cried more since crawling than you have since being born. However, you are also pretty good about rolling with the punches and getting back at it after a fall.

Because you can pull up on everything, you also want to walk. You love walking around holding on to our fingers and you take the cutest GIANT baby steps. You've started cruising some on the sofa, and even think it's fun to let go occasionally and see how long you can stand (only a few seconds.)

We went to the doctor last Wednesday, and you weighed in at 20 pounds 1 oz. and 28.75 inches long. You're off the charts for your height; both Daddy and I are tall, so that's not too surprising. He was very happy with all your development and couldn't believe how well you were doing. It was a proud mama moment, even though I know I have nothing to do with it. You're a motivated little girl.

Sleeping... Well girlfriend... It's still pretty inconsistent. We tried for a few weeks to not let you in the bed with us but you kept us up all night (even Damian) and after weeks of no one sleeping, I just gave up. You are definitely teaching me that every baby has different needs... So now you go down around 7 and sleep for a few hours, wake up and I feed you, you sleep until somewhere between 12-2 and then come to bed with us. I'm working on night weaning you in an effort to convince you that mama isn't the only place you can sleep. On a positive note, you have gotten a bit better about naps though and that's been really nice. Usually I can get 1-2 naps in the crib each day, and they can be anywhere from 15 minutes to over 2 hours. So while sleep overall is still not what I would love (you and Damian sleeping in your own beds for 12+ hours every night and napping for hours during the day) when I look at where we've come from since you were born, we are still progressing.

You love to talk and babble. You will say DaDa if we ask you to, and if I ask you to say MaMa you say BahBah which, considering you don't take bottles, is kinda appropriate for me... sigh... I guess that's just how you see me-- a giant bottle.

I bought you some 2nd Foods baby food and you like those much better than First Foods so you will let me feed you as long as you have something you can feed yourself. Therefore most "meals" include a squeeze pouch and finger foods.

You make some of the best faces. When you laugh, cry, or make your "I'm full" face your eyes completely disappear and you become all cheeks and mouth. You still only have your two bottom teeth, but I can see little swollen spots so I think the top ones will be coming in soon. I bought you an amber teething necklace so we will see if that helps.

Now that you are crawling I'm starting to notice that you are understand words/commands. You respond to your name and usually will come to us when we ask you to. It's always fun to realize when babies actually understand much more than you think they do. I'm also able to see what are your favorite toys, which are usually the 'not actual toys' (i.e. shoes, my purse, wipes) and then of course any lego project Damian is working on. I see a lots of fighting in the future over toys. Can't wait...

You hate hate hate diaper and clothing changes. I think you would much rather be my naked baby.

Well, that's about all for now! I'm looking forward to another month with you cuddle bug.

Love you!!

Mama

6 months...

 

Dear Clare,

Could you be any cuter?! You're killing me! 

Anyway, we've made it half a year and so far so good I'd say. It's been an exciting month for you, and after looking back at your 5 month letter, I realize how far you've come. At some point this past month, I think things finally clicked with me being a mother of two. Or at least it seems to have gotten a lot easier. Or maybe I've just forgotten how easy it used to be... Sigh... I still think having two of y'all around is much easier than having just one. You've got constant entertainment in your brother and that makes my job a little bit easier. But, back to you. Let's recap your month...

You have not only mastered sitting independently but you can now sit yourself up on your own. It's weird to come get your from your crib with you sitting up staring at us. It also means I've had to lower your crib down a level because...

You have also started, though not quite successfully, pulling up on things. The last thing I need is to not be one step ahead of you and have you falling out of your crib, sooo down it went.

Speaking of cribs.... And I mean this loosely, so very loosely, you are sleeping half the night in your crib. Woohoo! Usually you go down anywhere from 6:30-7:30 and then proceed to wake up between every 1-4 hours until I finally wave the white flag (usually between 2-4am) and bring you to bed with me. We've tried letting you cry it out, but that seems to have failed miserably in getting you to sleep longer stretches. I have my theories, but I'll save that for another day. Looking back at last month and realizing a month ago you were still in your swing and not able to put yourself to sleep gives me hope that maybe one day you will sleep long enough for me to get to REM cycle. Until then I will continue to keep all the coffee shops in business.

Since we're on the topic of sleeping, or really not sleeping, I should probably mention two of the reasons I think any 'sleep training' we attempted failed and those are your two bottom teeth. We said goodbye to that gummy smile and now you have two cute little teeth that are delightfully sharp and ready to chew.

And with those teeth, you've decided you are too old and mature for baby food. No ma'am. You will not be fed. You are a big girl and will do it yourself thank you very much. I have tried and tried and tried to feed you baby food with a spoon, but you break down into hysterics if I don't give you the spoon and "let you do it." You do get it in your mouth, eventually. It's only after all the baby food has been slung around the room. Tibi loves it. If only you could be fooled by us both having a spoon... So I've started cutting up things for you to eat with us, and you're happy as can be chowing down on an apple or pear or sweet potato fry.

You are still a huge fan of the raspberries and blowing bubbles. Each morning I wake up to you patting my face and blowing raspberries at me. It's cute... and I will probably miss that most when you finally sleep the night away in your room. You've also started babbling some. Hearing you say da da da da da has definitely melted some hearts. I'll let you in on a little secret... You've got daddy wrapped.

You aren't officially crawling yet, but using an interesting technique of sit, fall over and roll, sit, swing leg around, army crawl, roll, sit up, fall down, etc etc you can get wherever you want to go. I've lost number of the times I've witnessed you faceplant because you're legs go and your arms don't. I'm amazed at how well you take it in stride and keep moving right along. I went ahead and cleared out all of Damian's choking hazard toys. He wasn't amused, but I say it's pay back for how rough he is with you. He has no concept at all that you aren't a 3 year old little boy who loves to be tackled. I'm not sure what's going to happen once you're really crawling/walking and can go get back all those toys he steals from you.

In other news, I finally finished all your nursery bedding! I was hoping it's beauty would inspire you to sleep. I guess you just want to get up and look at it all the time. It's ok. I understand.

We haven't been to the doctor yet, so I have no official stats for you other than you are wearing 12 month clothing. I guess that means the 9 month dress I bought you before you were born for 4th of july will not be fitting you. Sigh. Maybe now that I'm not sewing your bedding I can make you one.

And that my sweet girl is about it! Keep being the sweetest little girl I know!

Love you, 

Mama 

5 months...

Dear Clare,

Is it really 5 months already?! This month has been "the best yet" just as all months have been. You continue to be so happy and sweet--full of smiles, squeals, and laughs. You're an absolute joy, and I swear you're getting cuter by the second. In other words, we are still completely smitten by you and wrap around your chubby little finger. 

This past month...

You began to sit independently. At your four month appointment, your pediatrician said that we should be on the look out for you pulling up on things around 6 months. I'm not ready for that. Ok?

Speaking of your 4 month appointment... Your stats are as follows-- Weight: 17 pounds 11 oz Length: 26.5 inches. You are "sturdy" for sure. But your cheeks and rolls are delicious.

We played peek-a-boo the other day. You thought it was hilarious to lean over to your feet and then pop up when I would say "Where did Clare go?" You've also started reaching out for me some, rolling over in the bed towards me to hug my face, and giving what I call kisses but I know is just you hungry and attempting to nurse my face. I'll take it though! It's fun seeing these beginning moments of social interaction and communication.

You've attempted to get into the crawling position twice.... And I may have stopped you... Once again, I'm not ready... I love you, so when I say this, I mean it will all the love in my heart, but I think you're buddha baby chub may keep you from moving for a bit anyway. This is a fun stage where you can just sit and play, so let's enjoy it a bit. Although, I do look forward for when you can go steal your toys back from your mean big brother who apparently has a new love for baby toys. I guess this is what being the second child is like...

You LOVE to bounce in your Johnny Jump Up. 

The newest trick you've got is blowing raspberries, and you are SO proud of yourself. It's also the way you seem to be trying to start conversations with us. If I say hi, you blow me some bubbles. And it's even more fun to blow them on my shoulder and arm. 

We're still working on you sleeping in your crib. You're doing better sleeping for 'longer' stretches in your swing, but the crib is still not working out well for you. On the bright side, you've got a bit of a schedule going. You nap 3-4 times a day starting at 9 AM, and then we start bedtime routine at 7 PM. We rock, nurse, and pray and it's really a nice way to end the day. Now if only you would stop waking up multiple times at night.

You still love your brother and seem to have finally noticed we have pets.

This is just a small thing but you got to ride in your stroller without being in the carseat for the first time and it was so thrilling you fell right asleep.

We tried solids with you considering your desire to put our food in your mouth. I wasn't expecting you to like rice cereal, but you were more than unimpressed by it. Mostly baby food in general does nothing for you. You'd much rather num on a whole banana or a piece of my lettuce. I guess I should look more into Baby Lead Weaning...

And that's about it for this month. 

Love you sweet cheeks,

Mama

4 months...

Dear Clare,

This has been my favorite month thus far! Every day you're moving more and more away from newborn and more and more into fun baby. It's been such a busy month for us too! Let's recap shall we....

You moved to a new house in a new city, which means you official have a room!!!!! YAYAYAY!!! Ok maybe mama and dada are more excited about the crib and closet situation than you are, but it's nice to finally have a place for everything.

I believe you've started teething. You have horrible cranky moments that are usually followed by lots of drool and lots of num num numing on things. You've also hit the EVERYTHING IN THE MOUTH NOW stage. Your favorite things are things that crinkle, like wipes bags and granola bar wrappers.

You also love your toys and are starting to need to be 'entertained.' It's so fun to see how excited you get for new things, and kinda fun to see you get upset when I have to take something away from you. You know that you're 4 months and not 3 years old, right? You don't have to have tantrums yet ;-)

We've moved you out of our bed and into your crib. Sleep at night is still very "fluid," but you're doing it and you're in your crib so that's awesome.

I said I was going to wait until 6 months to start you on solids, but you realllllllyyyyy like to eat. And I can't eat anything without you trying to grab for it and stick it in your mouth. I think you may have already gotten some of dada's sweet potato fries the other night. So we may start earlier. Considering you still aren't taking a bottle this may help with that though.

You're rolling over from back to belly like a pro. And you can even sit unassisted for a little bit at a time. You haven't quite figured out that when you're sitting you can't just fling yourself backwards in a fit of excitement.

You still absolutely adore your brother. I wish I got those same smiles that you give him. And you started laughing, but only for Damian. It's the best little laugh though and the combination of both of you laughing makes my heart swell.

While I'm still the mama and thus the "love of your life," it's become quite obvious over the past few weeks that your daddy has your heart though. You start to get cranky around 5 in the evening, but the second he walks in the door you're all smiles and happy to be in his arms. He calls you his 4 am buddy, and I think he secretly loves that time with you. You've got him wrapped already. Good job!

That's about all the excitement for now. Keep doing what your doing little girl!

Love you more than ever,

Mama

Also, if you missed the pictures I finally added to her other letters here those are
month 1
month 2
month 3