Dearest Daughter,
This letter is for when you are older, but I don't want it to come too late so I'm writing it to you now.
I want you to know a few thing about your mom.
When we heard "It's a girl!" I could barely contain my excitement. I'd finally get to do all those girly things like bows and ruffles and dolls. Your grandmother is my best friend and I had always hoped that one day I would have a daughter to share that relationship with as well. And as we continued to prepare for your arrival, my excitement still grew but I began to realize more and more what having a daughter, especially in these times, would mean. You see, the world is a tricky place. As a woman, you are lucky to live in a time where you can do and be whatever you want. A mother, a doctor, a teacher, a politician? Go for it! I hope you find your passion early and give it your best shot. However, there's a darker side of this world in which we live. One where sin prevails and a woman is objectified and misused with little thought to her as a whole person. Just walk down any magazine aisle and read the headlines. It's all about how you look, how sexy you are, what you can offer to your man. And while I may tell you your worth is so much more than that, I know the world loudly shouts something else.
And then Sweet One, I had you and watched you start to grow. You are absolutely beautiful to me. No really, you are stunning. And the more I thought about how the world might make you feel otherwise, the more angry I became. Not at the world, love, but at myself. For women are the ones that have allowed this to happen. We were the ones that bought that lie. We're the ones that kill ourselves trying to look a certain way, complain about our worst features, and dream about what it must be like to be just one size smaller or one inch taller or just a little bit curvier.
So I began to think about how maybe I could save you from all the pain so many women go through. I could keep you in a bubble, never exposing you to the world, but there's so much good out there I want you to see too. Maybe I could try my hardest to protect you from bad influences and just never let you out of my sight. But then how would you learn to be independent or grow from mistakes? I don't want to save you from every fall or broken heart. It was then I had the scary realization, that all parents do at some point, that I can't control your life forever and at some point I will have to let you go. All I can do is give you the tools to survive.
But I don't want you to merely survive, I want you to thrive. There must be a better way for a woman to live than constantly obsessing about how she looks. But isn't that what we women do? Why is that? Where do we learn that from? It must be from other women. When I came to that conclusion, I decided that I would try with all my might to teach you something different. I can't control the world, but I can control me. Maybe, just maybe, my influence would be enough to give you the strength to not buy into the image obsessed culture in which we live.
My words will never be louder than the culture's, but I hope my actions are. So I want you to know...
When you see me running and working out, it's not so I can fit into size 0 jeans or have a bikini body. It's because I love fresh air, the feel of working for something hard, and I want to be good to this body God has given me. I do it so I will be around for your children, and God-willing, your children's children.
When you see me eating a salad or choosing a healthy food option, don't think it's because I'm deathly afraid of cellulite or gaining a few pounds. Know it's because eating the natural things of this earth remind me of how blessed we are to be able to have good food that nourishes our bodies.
When I put on make up, please don't ever think I don't like the way I look without it. Just as I like nice clothing that flatters my body, I enjoy having fun with make up. But if I ever thought it made you think you needed it to be pretty, I would throw it all away in a heartbeat and never wear it again.
And when you hear me talk about myself, I hope you never hear me complain about the way I look. How could I not like so many of my features that I see look so beautiful on you?
I hope you learn to value looking beautiful rather than "looking hot." I want you to enjoy good chocolate and a fine wine while knowing moderation and temperance. I want you to know the virtues because you were raised surrounded by them. I want you to know you are loved. I want you to know who you are and what you stand for and to never waiver in either of those. I hope that if I can teach you only one thing about being a woman, it's to see yourself as God sees you and to be grateful for this body of yours.
I love you my beautiful girl,
Mom
