Blog Life

If you haven't noticed...I've backed off of blogging recently.

There have been numerous reasons for this, but most of them had to do with time management skills (which I lack) and the weird stirring in my heart that I needed to truly think about what I was doing as far as the Internet was concerned. As the kids get older, I've begun to question what the effects of having their lives recorded online might be. Sure, mostly just friends and family see this blog, but that doesn't stop anyone else from finding it. I also started noticing the amount of time I spent using social media as a distraction, and how often I used it to compare myself to other people. I then wondered if perhaps me sharing my life online was just causing someone else to be tempted to compare themselves to our life (and then I chuckled because, uh hello... my life be a mess.) But still, the more I thought about a blog, the odder it sounded. Self-promotion? Open letters to no one? Talking about yourself for hours on end? Why??? (Bloggers, don't get offended.... just keep reading)

So I took a break and really thought for a long time that I was done. Limited social media. No more blog. I wanted real life... not this pseudo-internet life that was edited and filtered! I wanted real community that could come to my house, go to the park, get a drink with me. More importantly, I wanted to go to their homes and see that real life looks a little messy--that there's no Instagram filter on it. And while I was at it, I was going to start an intentional community! With a wall! And no Internet... And lots and lots of chickens.

Perhaps I lost some perspective on the whole matter.... Perhapssss.

But, I'm not going to lie. Despite my irrational desire to go "off the grid" for a bit, it was a good break. However... being away from the world of blogging didn't necessarily make a lot of sense given the world we live in. Our neighborhood is filled with a lot of elderly people. I can't exactly go outside and let the kids "play with the neighborhood." My village is spread out all over town... and all over many states! If I don't talk to another adult for hours on end, I will go mad; but sometimes the cashier at Target has no interest in my life or the fact that my child prefers to lick her shoes rather than wear them this week. I actually kind of missed my friends and their internet lives, which I discovered actually are real things.

Our world is different from what it's been in decades past. And part of that world is social media. There are a lot of faults with it, but there are a lot of blessings too. A lot has to do with guarding my own heart and my children. There's a balance on what to share and when to share. Just as there's a balance between how much time we spend "checked out" online. There can be an escapism element to it, but there are real needs being met through the online community. All of you mamas out there that I'm friends with because of this little website or this little Instagram page, you know what I'm talking about!

I was listening to a Fountain of Carrots podcast the other night. They were discussing how hard it had been for them becoming mothers, especially Catholic mothers, when they realized they really didn't even know what that style of motherhood looked or felt like. Blogs became their little peak into the world of other mothers. Hearing that rang so true to me that I began to understand that my longing for community could still be found online. Nothing will replace a long coffee date with a friend. But drinking my coffee while skimming through what another mama wrote while drinking her cup of coffee is pretty darn close. Even if it takes both of us 3 reheats to get through our writing and reading. Sharing life on a blog or twitter isn't necessarily some vain pursuit, but rather no different than wanting to be hospitable to anyone who "swings by for a visit." 

So I think I might be back up to blogging. Why not? I still want to monitor how much I share about my children, but I want to open the door of my home to any other mother who may need just a peek at what's going on inside. So she can say..."oh good! Me too!" Because, we all need a village.

The Balancing Act

It's been a little quiet around here recently. On the blog that is.

Life seems to be ever busier and busier. And as much as I hope God blesses us with more children eventually, there are days... Oh, there are days....

On the bright side, things seem to be doing a little better around here. It's almost as if Survival Mode has moved to Survival Mode Plus. It's where you're still hanging on for dear life, but the house gets cleaned every so often.

However, it does seem the blog has been put on the back burner some. I've taken on a few other writing projects, I'm trying semi-successfully to train for the marathon in December, and now that Clare is walking there's just constant something going on around my feet at all times. I'll be the first to admit that I do kinda love the chaos. But it's not super conducive to lengthy novels about the minutia of our lives.

Over the past few months, I've seen quite a few mamas refer to this book. I read it back while in the early stages of pregnancy with Clare, and it didn't sit with me quite like I had hoped. Maybe it was first trimester-ness or perhaps the fact the I'm at a different stage of motherhood than the author. For the most part, the book overwhelmed even the most Type A part of me. I will say though, that if nothing else, the book did make me think and it has stuck with me. In brief, the premise is that structuring your life on a schedule, such as monastics do, allows your life to become more orderly and in turn more prayerful. Now who doesn't want a big heap of that?!

Sign. Me. Up.

Sadly, I've not been able to implement her plan for orderly perfection in my home. In fact, that last statement is an understatement to how this house runs. If the floors are clean, it's because the kids aren't. If I'm writing here, I'm not working on other projects. If I've actually run... well that never happens so I'll just stop there. But you get the point... If I'm doing something, it's because I'm obviously not doing something else. Yet when everything looks or feels to be of equal importance, how do you schedule time/stay motivated/ sleep, etcetcetc? I've not got the answer to that, and for the most part, my life rarely feels in balance.

Recently, I've been so proud of the fact that I've been keeping my house decently clean. I'm not talking about zero clutter, I just mean there is at least the appearance that I care about what's going on around here. I've found that I just have to do it despite my biggest desire to sit at the end of the day and veg or blog. But see... sometimes I need to veg, or blog, or read your blog and comment. I miss those things. I miss you. However, it seems I can't have my cake and eat it too.

There are the moms who do it all I suppose, but it seems they are a rare breed. We all have our moments where we have to slack on something to excel in another area. Or even just exist in another area. I hope there's a day when I can slow down some and make my life a habit of order and prayer. But right now, that seems like only an ideal worth striving towards that will never fully be realized. And I'm ok with that.

Welcome!

If you're reading this on Friday we are likely still in the moving process. Ugh!

However the end is in sight and even if it takes all night we will be one step closer to "moved in!"

Anyway, welcome to the new site! Eventually I will get the domain name fixed. It seems to be having issues (much like our moving out issues...) but I didn't want to wait until I had time to get that resolved before letting y'all in on the new place. 

Nate just informed me we won't have internet at the new digs until the 10th?! So hopefully I'll find a time to sneak away and at least load up some pictures from the move. 

Thanks for stopping by!