Learning Curve

God bless my boy... Gotta love him.

However, he has such a 'cautious' spirit and it has caused a lot of frustration on both of our parts. I can't say I blame him. Not overlooking the fact that Nate and I weren't exactly adventurous children, he came into this world to experience pokes, pricks, tests, surgery--lots of doctors and not enough mama. So I try to be patient with him when he's leery to try something new and would rather just watch. Both nature and nurture didn't start him off on the right foot to exude trust and confidence in all areas of life...

Since day one, Damian has only done things of his own volition, after much thought and consideration. I'll be honest, I did not realize this at first. Lots of tears (mine included) could have been spared had I just accepted his timing over mine. To me some things seem so simple or fun that I couldn't fathom why he wouldn't even try.

The slide... Why won't he go down the slide?! Strangers... Am I the only mother out there that wishes their child would at least speak to a stranger?! It's pizza... Just try the yummy yummy pizza!

As time has gone on, I'm beginning to trust him more to know when he is ready. All I can do is offer help if he wants it. The wonderful thing I've noticed from him though is that he's beginning to respect that trust and return it--both trusting himself and me.

The other day we were at the park running and playing on the jungle gym. Clare, of course being his complete opposite, loves the slides. The higher, the faster, the better. In all the ways Damian hasn't caused me heart failure, she's quickly picking up the slack. But I'm digressing... I'm talking about Little Man today... I noticed him eyeing the slide. I considered saying something, but thought better of it.

He will do it when he's ready... even if that's at 25. Lord, please don't let him be 25...

He sat down at the top of the slide, but then started to back away. I offered my hand and he agreed, and down he went. He lit up and, of course, loved it. I let him have his moment, and then off he went to do the slide on his own over and over and over again. Then, a few days later he finally conquered his fear of a "high slide" and I've never seen him more proud of himself.

It's hard to let him do things at his own pace. Because I, as the adult, so often "know what's good/right/better/easiest," but if he isn't ready... he isn't ready. The frustration I cause by trying to force him only sows more doubt in himself. He has to conquer that fear on his own. I can't do that for him, and that's something I have to let go of. My preconceived notions on when he, or any of my children for that matter, should be daring, interested in sight words, walk, talk, eat, draw, anything they do, did or will do... All of these things are theirs.

It's taken me 4 years of being his mom to figure this out. But I can finally say that seeing him begin to trust himself, trust others, and succeed in even the smallest areas, is worth the learning curve it took me to get here.

Blog Life

If you haven't noticed...I've backed off of blogging recently.

There have been numerous reasons for this, but most of them had to do with time management skills (which I lack) and the weird stirring in my heart that I needed to truly think about what I was doing as far as the Internet was concerned. As the kids get older, I've begun to question what the effects of having their lives recorded online might be. Sure, mostly just friends and family see this blog, but that doesn't stop anyone else from finding it. I also started noticing the amount of time I spent using social media as a distraction, and how often I used it to compare myself to other people. I then wondered if perhaps me sharing my life online was just causing someone else to be tempted to compare themselves to our life (and then I chuckled because, uh hello... my life be a mess.) But still, the more I thought about a blog, the odder it sounded. Self-promotion? Open letters to no one? Talking about yourself for hours on end? Why??? (Bloggers, don't get offended.... just keep reading)

So I took a break and really thought for a long time that I was done. Limited social media. No more blog. I wanted real life... not this pseudo-internet life that was edited and filtered! I wanted real community that could come to my house, go to the park, get a drink with me. More importantly, I wanted to go to their homes and see that real life looks a little messy--that there's no Instagram filter on it. And while I was at it, I was going to start an intentional community! With a wall! And no Internet... And lots and lots of chickens.

Perhaps I lost some perspective on the whole matter.... Perhapssss.

But, I'm not going to lie. Despite my irrational desire to go "off the grid" for a bit, it was a good break. However... being away from the world of blogging didn't necessarily make a lot of sense given the world we live in. Our neighborhood is filled with a lot of elderly people. I can't exactly go outside and let the kids "play with the neighborhood." My village is spread out all over town... and all over many states! If I don't talk to another adult for hours on end, I will go mad; but sometimes the cashier at Target has no interest in my life or the fact that my child prefers to lick her shoes rather than wear them this week. I actually kind of missed my friends and their internet lives, which I discovered actually are real things.

Our world is different from what it's been in decades past. And part of that world is social media. There are a lot of faults with it, but there are a lot of blessings too. A lot has to do with guarding my own heart and my children. There's a balance on what to share and when to share. Just as there's a balance between how much time we spend "checked out" online. There can be an escapism element to it, but there are real needs being met through the online community. All of you mamas out there that I'm friends with because of this little website or this little Instagram page, you know what I'm talking about!

I was listening to a Fountain of Carrots podcast the other night. They were discussing how hard it had been for them becoming mothers, especially Catholic mothers, when they realized they really didn't even know what that style of motherhood looked or felt like. Blogs became their little peak into the world of other mothers. Hearing that rang so true to me that I began to understand that my longing for community could still be found online. Nothing will replace a long coffee date with a friend. But drinking my coffee while skimming through what another mama wrote while drinking her cup of coffee is pretty darn close. Even if it takes both of us 3 reheats to get through our writing and reading. Sharing life on a blog or twitter isn't necessarily some vain pursuit, but rather no different than wanting to be hospitable to anyone who "swings by for a visit." 

So I think I might be back up to blogging. Why not? I still want to monitor how much I share about my children, but I want to open the door of my home to any other mother who may need just a peek at what's going on inside. So she can say..."oh good! Me too!" Because, we all need a village.

7 Quick Takes on Advent

I love Advent almost more than I love Christmas. There's sometimes more fun in the preparing I think. Nate and I are trying really hard to make this a prayerful time and not just a YAYCHRISTMASISCOMING time. However, Damian definitely understands "Christmas" and his excitement is contagious. He's so very ready to do everything--decorating the tree, going look at all the Christmas lights in the neighborhood, and, of course, making it to "Santa Day." We weren't even going to play up the whole Santa thing, but apparently it's born in them... Another day, another post... Anyway, I wanted to share some of the Advent-y things we are doing around the house in hopes that you could share some of your favorite advent traditions with me!

.1. 

Advent wreath

Pretty standard as far as Advent traditions go. We light ours every night at dinner, which may have been a bad plan because I don't know if this first purple candle will make it to Christmas. Damian loves it. Because fire. 

.2. 

Advent calendar

I found the free printable cards here. They're a little above Damian's level, but they have pictures so we can talk about the pictures and it's a good reminder for Nate and me. I had no intention of going all crafty and making one this year, but then slacker me missed out on all the not chocolate ones; so next thing you know I'm at Michael's buying small brown envelopes and tiny cloths pins (and ribbon and wreaths and and and.)

.3. 

Journeying Wise Men

These little guys are a favorite in this house. They're so jolly though! It makes me laugh. Anyway, they're slowly making their way around our house in hopes of not getting stolen by small hands/furry paws making it to Baby Jesus by the Epiphany. 

.4. 

Magnificat and Liturgy of the Hours

This is mostly something I'm doing, but I've really been enjoying saying the Morning or Evening Prayers out loud with the kids. It's also good practice for them in "being quiet." I let them  run around and play as long as their quiet, so far, so good. 

.5. 

St. Andrew Novena

I've always loved this one and have done it as long as I can remember. When I was a little girl, I got the St. Andrew Novena holy card from a priest for St. Nicholas Day. Sadly that card has been lost but there are wonderful printable versions. And because I don't have 15 fingers, I made a little decade + 5 bead string to help me keep track. I usually do it while cleaning the kitchen because multi-tasking is my middle name.

.6. 

Slowly decorating

Ok, so this is only semi-intentional. Despite Damian's pleas to decorate all the things all the time, it's not as easy as he thinks to get that done. I won't point fingers at why that might be, but I'll let you guess. Anyway, we're trying to explain that we have 4 whole weeks before Baby Jesus is born and can use that whole time to prepare for it. He is not impressed. (Notice my thanksgiving gourds still hanging out in the lantern. Slow and steady. Slow and steady.)

.7. 

St. Nicholas Day

I LOVE St. Nicholas Day. It's always been one of my favorite memories of Christmas from growing up. Yesterday, we all made St. Nicholas ornaments to help me teach Damian (and Clare?) the story of St. Nick. He was intrigued by this "Bag of Gold" but was wayyy more interested in coloring his beard and the glue. Always the glue.... You can find the printable we used here. Also, feel free to guess who did which ornament.

So there you have it. What are y'all up to this Advent??

What We're Eating

Anyone else out there dread meal planning?! I must say it's one of my least favorite things to do. Thanks to this gal, I've started doing a month at a time using a mix of "Good Ol' Standbys" and new recipes giving me only one day a month of the dreaded "meal planning chore." However, with the month of December being full of holiday fun, I'm only doing a week at a time. And since I have to do it, I thought I might as well share it with you.

: Monday : 

Roasted Potato and Asparagus Lentil Salad with Tangy Lemon Mustard Dressing

: Tuesday :

  Foil baked Salmon with Leeks and Peppers and rice

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: Wednesday : 

Blackbean Burgers and Sweet Potato Fries

: Thursday :

Cheap and Easy Pasta Night and salad

: Friday : 

Firecracker Cauliflower

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: Saturday :

Go see the Lighting of the Christmas Tree-- Eat Out

So there you have it! Meals....

You cookin' anything good this week??

7 Thankful Takes

In the spirit of the now over Thanksgiving, and in an attempt to stem the tide of Christmas insanity just one more day, I bring you seven "quickish" takes of thanks.

1.

First I have to start with my husband. 

On any given day, I'm pretty darn thankful for this guy. He keeps me sane, provides for us, gets up approximately 80 times at night with the kids, and is all-around not too shabby. Sure... we have our fights, but usually he'll just concede that I'm right and we move on. ;-) But on Thanksgiving, this man single-handedly prepared two turkeys, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, green beans, brussels sprouts, mac n' cheese, and a pumpkin cheesecake. And it was all delicious. #keeper

2.

Next would have to be the kids. There are many days I'm not sure what I'm doing. I lose my temper so often. And sometimes I just down right stink at being a mom. But you know what, they love me and forgive me constantly. They've taught me so much. I'm also very grateful for their health. Damian is doing so well right now, and Clare is full of energy and spunk. They will inevitably send me to my grave, but I love them for it all the same!

3.

Keeping it in the family, I would have to say that having such a supportive extended family is at the top of my Thankful List. My family provided our lovely new table first used for Thanksgiving. Nate's family generously drove to Charleston to celebrate Thanksgiving with us because Nate had so little time off of work. Combined they've never turned down our request for help--from looking after the kids to offering advice to moving us in and out of homes. They've also been known to provide us with meals at foreign places commonly known as "restaurants." I believe Nate and I used to travel there much more often in our pre-kid days, but that's such a distant memory now... I know we probably don't say it enough, but we are very grateful to be surrounded by such love.

4.

Leaving the family, but not far from it, I'm thankful for my friends--both new and old. My old friends have seen me at my best and worst and yet still call me their friend. They're loyal, loving, and brilliant. And as for the new friends, they've made the move to a new city a little bit easier and a lot less scary. I don't know how I have all these wonderful people around me, but I'm not going to ask questions ;-)

5.

On a lighter note, it's no secret that I love my city. Walking around downtown, driving over one of the bridges, enjoying the warm weather, the beach... all these things are a blessing to me.

6. 

An understatement, but I'm thankful that all my necessities are met. Never do I go without food, running water, clothing, warmth. I have a bed to sleep in, a shower to bathe in, and a stove to cook my food. Hell, I can grow a garden for "fun." It's hard in America to not take those things for granted, but in comparison to most of the world, I live like a queen. If only I would remember that more often and not always want more...

7. 

Last, and certainly not least, I'm thankful for God's faithfulness. I'm not deserving, but I guess that's the point. He is the reason for all the things listed above and I try to live my life as a thank you to Him, although I fail so often. 

Hope you all had a wonderful and yummy Thanksgiving!!

Thanksgiving Table

Thanksgiving will be here in approximately 5 minutes. I'm not sure how that happened, but despite my excitement, I feel... less than ready. Perhaps this is because we're hosting Thanksgiving for the first time so I actually have to do something other than show up and eat.

I should probably stop here and clarify something (on the off-chance Nate is reading this, which he is not, but I like to pretend.) I'm not doing anything for this Thanksgiving either. Nate, aka Husband of the Year, is cooking the Thanksgiving feast. I have no clue how I lucked out with this guy who likes to cook. He loves to cook, I love to eat. Basically we're perfect together.

And while he excels at dishing out elaborate and tasty meals, I'm not too shabby at (watch out, here comes humility) everything else that hosting entails. So while he's food prepping, I'll be cleaning and decorating... We're Martha Stewart when we combine forces. (Ignore the fact that I've left out who will be watching the children. They're almost 4 and 1--totally fine to be left unsupervised.)

I don't exactly have an entire warehouse stocked full of turkey decor, which is fine by me.... Never been a huge lover of turkey decor.

However, I do have a brand new, beautiful, handmade by my dad dining room table that only deserves to be covered in a Thanksgiving inspired "table scape." (Yep, the sarcasm runs strong in this post...)

ANYWAY....

I thought I would share some of my Pinterest inspirations with you, that way we can all laugh together later when I show you what my actual table turns out to be. Dream big Mary Helen, dream big.

{Inspiration 1}

For when I take my new table outside. Just look at those succulents! 

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{Inspiration 2}

Subtle fall decor... Casually strewn apples, over sized basket. Burlap (classic.) It's like we just got home from apple picking and are sitting down to supper. 

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{Inspiration 3}

For the inner child in all of us... or just Damian and Clare. 

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{Inspiration 4}

Ok I just love this one... Neutrals, metallics, pumpkins... roses... be still my heart. be still.

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I'll let you know what my final project ends up looking like (hint: see first picture in post...)

Happy Thanksgiving Week!

A few months later....

Well hello there! Nope, we aren't dead... It's been awhile hasn't it? Why not catch up with a few quick takes from the past few months. Perhaps this will start me blogging again... perhaps... (But let's not get ahead of ourselves.)

1.

 Since we last talked, Clare turned one! How is my baby not a baby anymore?! We had a "sweets" themed party for our "Sweet Cheeks," and I think it turned out really well. However, in typical second child-ness, I never took pictures of any of the decorations or food until after it was all said and done. Oh well... It was fun, and she had a BLAST opening presents. Once she got the hang of it, she was tearing through them. Makes me excited for Christmas!

2. 

Nate and I celebrated our 5th anniversary.  Two cities, two kids, and one house later-- I still love that guy more and more. *awww* I know, I know. How sweet. We celebrated by having a weekend to ourselves (and all our college friends) at our 5th college reunion. Not necessarily romantic, but a whole lot of fun! I must say I felt naked not having a kid touching me 24/7, but... I got used to it ;-)

3.

We then had Halloween. You may have seen on Instagram that the kids dressed up as a pumpkin (Clare) and a ghost (Damian.) Both costumes were chosen by Damian. I told him that next year Clare was going to have an opinion so not to get used to this level of control. The night before Halloween, Nate's office hosted a huge trick or treat party (Candy Land themed--so cute) so the kids were prepped and trained for the official Night of Candy. They clearly aren't related to me because the candy has very rarely been asked about or thought of... meaning I *have to* eat all of it.

 4.

Clare is walking and destroying everything she can touch. She climbs on everything and gets into everything. She loves to "help." Slowly, slowly I know my hair will be gray by the time we are out of this phase.
 As far as having two kids go, I love it. But it's busy.

Thankfully these two love each other 90% of the time. The other 10%? Well.... we just don't need to go there.

5.
We've been doing stuff around the house. Mostly painting and boring things like cleaning/fixing windows. My few fall decorations have my heart so ready to decorate for Christmas. Is it Advent yet?

6.
This past weekend, we went to Atlanta (and froze.)  Damian needed to have some procedures done to check on his liver's status. Thankfully, everything came back stable, and the doctors are remaining hopeful that he will have at least a few more years with his liver. Being in a children's hospital is always such a draining experience. We were there almost all day and the little man couldn't eat the entire time, but he was such a champ. I was cranky after an hour of not eating so I don't know how he does it. He makes me so proud with how brave he can be even when I know he's scared. #gushing

7.
And one last picture....

So how have y'all been?! Good? Ready for Thanksgiving??