Damian-isms vol. 3

Oh Damian Damian Damian... From the mouths of babes or so they say.

Scene: Dinner table
Damian: Mommy, you're a dog. Clare, a cat. Damian, a dragon. Daddy. YOU'RE A DRAGONFLY!!
Me: *Deaddddd*
Daddy: *offended*

I have about 8945973498276 of these selfies on my phone

Scene: Me attempting to clean up because sometimes I like to pretend we don't live in a war zone and Damian trying to undo my attempts
Me: Damian, could you stop. I'm trying to clean up the house.
Damian: Who's coming over?!
Me: ..... no.one. ..... Thanks kid...... You know, sometimes we clean even when we don't have company coming over........ 

Making me proud by finding the Dr Who section of B&N

Scene: Damian having one of those *rare* moments of badness 

Me: YELL YELL YELL FUSS FUSS FUSS
Damian: Mommy, you are too loud. We don't yell inside, only outside.

Me:

Damian's offering to the Holy Family--a used lollipop and a washed out photo filter

Scene: In the lab about to give blood.

Lab tech: So I guess he ate today?
Me: Yea he did. They didn't need him to fast.
Damian (slightly enraged): I'M NOT EIGHT! I'm three!!
Everyone: *dead*

No really, why?

Scene: Dinner time when he was supposed to be in his seat but instead was over by me
Me: Ok bud, you really need to go sit back down.
Damian (in the sweetest voice ever): Mommy. You are the sweetest mommy ever!
Me: ok you can do whatever you want for the rest of your life...