Sweet Sweet Baby Sleep

Dear world,

Let me apologize to you. I've judged you, and I am sorry.

I once thought I knew all there was about babies. Because I had one. But now...

Now I have two.

And I realize that nothing I have done has made them the way they are, they just are the way they are and it's my job to make sure they don't die basically. Basically.

I say all this mostly based on sleep--more specifically sleep training and baby sleeping and all that jazz. If you've ever wanted to cause yourself anxiety you should look up articles about infant/baby/toddler/people sleep. It's insanity. And everyone is right. And you are likely wrong.

Damian sleeping story had the following chapters-- The First Two Weeks Are Horrible Hell followed by Oh Wait, It's Just Liver Failure followed by A Newborn With A Feeding Tube Seems To Sleep All Night followed by Cry It Out FTW. I really had to do very little after I convinced him he could sleep in his crib and not my arms.

However, if there was one thing in the world I swore I would NEVER, and I mean NEVER, do (even after all those Never Say Never posts) it was co-sleep. Babies don't belong in beds.

And then I had Clare.

My foot is still in my mouth.

Yep. Still.

Anywayyayayyyy. Baby girl loves to snuggle and I love to sleep and I have a 3 year old version of the Energizer Bunny so really that's just how it was going down because everyone was winning. But now we've moved and baby girl has a room, and well... I don't really want to nurse allllll night long anymore. And I could tell she was functioning better without me some.

Lap nap. Sure.

Car nap. Why not?!

"But I looooveeee your memory foam mattress topper. And this tube of bugs!"

So we've begun to transition her. And it's all started with her swing.

I decided to start by trying to put her down at night in her swing instead of holding her while watching TV. It seemed to be working! So then we started to move the swing upstairs and let her sleep there until she woke up (usually around 1 am) and then sticking her in the bed with me.

Then I stuck the swing in the crib. Baby steps. Baby steps. And then I started nursing her back to sleep and putting her back in her swing until about 5 which is apparently "time to wake up" time. No Clare, no it is not.

And now... now she is sleeping in her crib sans swing. She still wakes up anywhere from every 2-4 hours but Nate and I have it worked out so that I get the 7:30 pm to 2:30 am shift and he gets the "after that until 5am" shift. He goes to bed early than me, so it actually works out well. After about 2:30 I start sobbing with her, whereas he somehow can function and walk marathons with her in the kitchen.

It's really weird not having her hanging out with me all evening. And all night. I'm starting to feel a little more me like, which is nice. I don't regret letting her sleep in the bed with us. I got to sleep and this transitioning hasn't been awful minus the two days of basically no sleep before Nate and I decided to tag team it and I was trying to figure out greige. And if anything it's taught me a valuable lesson....

I don't know anything. And everyone is just winging it.